The qualities I have as a person define me what kind of professional I am. The features one has in ones personality can be modified for different areas in ones life. Some attributes can be learned and strengthen, some just one needs to depress so they don’t have such a big effect on professional behavior.
In this blog I am paying attention to my different qualities, how they fit to my professional part and how I am in real life. I point out some things I really need to focus on, what I still need to concentrate on in every day life and what are the learning points for me. First I tell you who is Julia the CEO; what kind of person she is and what kind of qualities she has and values in her. Then I write about Julia in real life – and then it is time to compare and maybe find some new points of view, or perhaps even development issues!
Julia the CEO
I use a lot of energy to be a certain kind of figure in my professional life. I am very precise, always on time and very accurate in my communication. I am very good at giving and receiving feedback and learning from it.
I am a problem solver and my abilities keeping up with always changing situations is on high level. I am good at making decisions, I am very patient and very responsible person. I like to keep the strings on my hands and make the decisions rather than giving the choice for someone else. I love the power and the responsibility that comes with it!
I like to analyze and take time for going through different directions. Still I am very good at keeping deadlines and evaluating how I use my time / how the time is used within a project. I feel confident in making decisions quickly if needed, as long as I have enough information. If I am lacking information and the issue needs to be decided to move on, I still concur.
Even in difficult situations I tend to stay calm and create an atmosphere where there is no place for panic and chaos. I focus on the well-being of others, for my crew or team mates and there is nothing more important to me than that.
I am not afraid of tight schedules, I even enjoy when there is a lot to do and the deadlines are pushing on me. As the pressure is on me, I tend to make good results. Of course there are limits for everything and un-human working environments with too much to do, too many projects and/or too tight deadlines is something that should be guaranteed not to get into. As a leader of team, as a producer and as an entrepreneur I am glad to say I am in position where I can affect on these matters so that the work load won’t grow to be too much. I am also in a position in my career where I can consider what project to take on and what to pass. I always evaluate the project before agreeing doing it. If it’s tight on money or time there should be something really really intriguing in it.
I get along with different people well. My social skills are in right place and I honestly care about the people who I work with (I don’t even like to say ”who work for me”, I rather say ”who work with me”). In social situations I tend to keep up the conversation and involve everyone with it. I care about the atmosphere and do my best to keep it open, kind and caring.
This all sounds too good to be true right?
I could be described to be one who is all over the place. I am always late from everywhere. My communication is very short and can be very miss-leading. I tend to write short messages which have no nouns, only verbs or adverbs. I have to explain a lot what I meant with this and what I meant with that. I take feedback very poorly, I am very insecure and I tend to start finding the reason or blame in me.
It takes a lot of energy from me trying to solve things and I really hate when plans change and I have to adapt to a new situation! I hate making decisions and I like to give that position to someone else. I hate being responsible for – well anything actually! I have a patient of a four year old. If things don’t go the way they are suppose to or the way I want them to, I get irritated super easily. I will be on a bad mood for a long time and I can even throw things and slam doors (even when I know it doesn’t help). See! – four years old.
I am the opposite of calm. I am just all over the place. I panic easily and I get so frustrated with the smallest of things. I really don’t like to be pushed, pressured or controlled. I need quite a lot of attention and tender. Again – I am four.
I over-analyze everything! I always try to search for the responsible one to blame – even though it is most likely me. I hate to see myself as the one that has mistaken. I am a very bad looser and a super annoying winner. In addition to those qualities I am very competitively driven. What a match.
If I want something, I don’t hesitate making the decision. ”I want a new computer. I need it. I don’t care if it’s expensive. I want it, I’m buying it.” I am very good at convincing myself into things -especially when it comes to electronic devices.
I have issues in starting new things or projects. I try to push the errand as much as I can. I come up with other things to do. I postpone meetings and engagements, I easily cancel and if I don’t cancel it is not an issue to me to make myself vanish in the middle of an event for example. I hate schedules and limitations. I would like to just be. No schedules, no deadlines, no to do’s – just be.
I am very introverted person. I am quite shy and I like to keep to myself. I love staying at home instead of going out. I love a home cooked meal million times more than going out to a five star restaurant. Movies I rather watch at home when I can have the popcorn as salty or not salty as I wish and where there are now stupid people talking or chewing (or even breathing) too loudly.
I don’t enjoy meeting new people, it is very overwhelming for me. I get easily tired in social situations and I need days of rest after a social event – even if it’s a pleasant one. I am more of the listener than the talker in a group. If the atmosphere is awkward, I usually leave than try to fix it.
I am a really negative thinker. I usually think everything is wrong and if not yet, it’ll most surely soon be. Nothing good will come out of anything. I know I do this as a protection method, but I know it is a lot to take for people around me. And of course for me too, but I don’t really care about that.
Sounds awful doesn’t it?
Mix an’ match
Julia – who is very career driven and to whom her work and her own company mean a lot, can feel divided with these qualities she has in her. Of course the Julia IRL version was at least in some way a bit exaggerated, but still – the qualities are there.
IRL Julia loves the CEO Julia and really wants to be more like her! IRL Julia is quiet, shy and insecure as the CEO Julia is proud, loud and confident. IRL Julia doesn’t want to make a big deal of herself, CEO Julia IS THE BIG DEAL and wants everybody to know it!
These two Julias really mess my head, you know? What can I do?
I use quite a lot of energy balancing between these two versions of me. I read (and listen) quite many books and podcasts trying to understand myself. I am keen on learning how to take most of them both to becoming a better person in both of these worlds. I can’t and don’t want to live a double life, as they are both me. I want to appreciate them both and give them what they want and need – in proper portions.
I should try more to be more kind and nicer to myself. I need to tender me! I need to understand all the sides of me and make the most of it. I need to come up with new ways of handling my feelings, my thoughts and my believes as some of them are stuck in deep.
I am trying to allow more time for myself. I am trying to accept also my IRL me and make her comfortable. I believe that the CEO Julia couldn’t be who and where she is without the IRL Julia. The IRL Julia is the one who has sacrificed herself and her life so that the CEO Julia can go at it! How ever easy somethings come to the CEO Julia, there is always the biggest sacrifice maker behind her cheerleading and encouraging her to continue, to push even forward!
Writing this blog has been very therapeutic experience. Listing all the qualities has made me understand me a bit better. The development is never done, education is ongoing as long as one is alive. I courage you all to think about your qualities, think about how you behave in different roles in your life. Are you different as a parent than you are in your professional life? How is your role in your football team? Does it differ from the role you have within your colleagues?
I often find myself looking at a mirror and thinking: ”You are quite okey after all”. Which one is saying that, the IRL Julia or the CEO Julia, that depends on the situation. Which ever it is, I know she is right.